May I hear...

I’ve got to tell you~ one of the hardest aspects of being me is that I make the same mistake again and again. As a girl, I watched Saturday morning cartoons and laughed when the character kept slipping on the banana peel. There it was again ~ the banana peel right on the floor~ I could see it, the character couldn’t, I’d wait expectantly and then… Whamoo! Boom! Crash! It’s funny when it happens to someone else. 

My trouble is I make humans into gods. I give people power to tell me if I’m worthy, if I’m important, if I have value. And I do this again and again. 

I’m like a car that has a front, left tire with missing air that pulls to the center. When I fall asleep at the wheel and don’t catch myself, head-on collisions are expected, even predicted. One God is how I correct my course each day, everyday; otherwise, I end up begging some person to love me, see me, validate me. 

My only path to avoiding regular head-on collisions is prayer and reminding myself throughout the day not to give this power to humans and to worship our Creator instead.

Like this weekend ~ I kept showing my father photographs of his newly born great-grandchild and I couldn’t tell if my Dad knew who I was. 

“Look Dad! Your first great-grandchild! My first grandchild!”

I wanted to share the blessings of this joyful moment with him. And I wanted him to see me, joyful, alive, thankful and he couldn’t.

The banana peel again.

Except, it wasn’t funny; it was sad.

In truth, we all want our parents to see us ~ whether they are struggling with issues around aging or not. There are some parents who do see us, sometimes, but they are humans too. Not meant to be our gods. Worthy of our respect, our charity, but not our worship.

I have come to understand that the feeling of being unseen, even orphaned is important on the faith journey.

Feeling orphaned reveals one essential aspect of being human ~ the depth of our need to be seen and loved. This ongoing need is not a flaw; how we seek to fill it can be a flaw or our freedom.  Freedom from bowing to people. 

There is one wholesome, sustaining and fulfilling answer to the feeling of being alone, orphaned, and longing to be seen, and that is to return humbly and with gratitude again and again to our Creator, to the source of all life and light and to hear the song of joy that is continuously breathed into us from a pool of never-ending love.

And to receive this ongoing gift of loving kindness, boundless compassion, and joyful celebration every time we return home.

Blessings on your journey.

In Peace, 

Kathleen

P.S. I decided to ask Butter, our caterpillar, to sing, “May I Hear” for the simple reason that I believe within each of us is a caterpillar with dreams and longings of wanting to fly and the answer lies in discovering the unique part of ourself that is a gift from our Creator. No one can ever take away this gift. Whether or not we answer the call is up to us.

Here are the lyrics from “May I Hear” ~

May I hear Your song in me

When You breathed Your breath in me,

whispered lovingly.

I am seen. I am loved.

Sent to Earth from above.

Here to share Your love.

Please click here, to listen to Butter’s song, “May I Hear” on YouTube.

Beautiful Bible verses about “Those with ears to hear, let them hear:” Mark 4:9, Matthew 13:15, Revelations 2:7, Matthew 11:15, Matthew 13:43, Romans 12:2, Matthew 13: 8-9, Isaiah 6:10, Ezekiel 3:27, Proverbs 20;12