Being vulnerable...

This morning, before the sunrise, a bird began singing outside my window. She sang and sang, singing in the day. Listening to her song opened my heart. In the dark, she sang. As the light of day approached, she continued her song. And if I’m being honest with you, I was there with her singing. Something in my heart has opened and song has started again. Thank God. 

Profound hurts happened and I closed my heart, shielded it. Hid. For a time, this was essential. Curling around a wound, inside a flower. Only raindrops rolled in and tears rolled out while my prayers for healing and grace began to germinate. 

And then there was a moment. A choice. I call it free-will. Where no matter the size of the loss, the wound, the failure… a decision was made to be grateful and to share. 

For me, the sharing at first was a prayer. Inviting in the Divine.

And gratitude for somehow being alive.

I learned to share my tears and vulnerabilities in prayer, and then with beloved pets and trusted people.

Thankfully, a few of my relationships continue to grow in healthy, humble, and kind ways. 

Because humans are human, I had to learn again that sometimes we all fail each other in small ways and big ways. 

My learning to love me, the way I was being loved by the Divine, meant I had to walk away from some relationships.

This was not easy. It still isn’t.

And what I am learning, is that leaving relationships that aren’t working creates space for respectful, reciprocal love.

As I think about it, when interacting with the Divine we do change. Like a puzzle piece that changes its shape. Divine kindness and grace, changes us, changes me. This means I could spend less time puzzling over why I don’t fit with some people anymore. I’m no longer the same puzzle piece. 

In spaces where I was empty, something beautiful kept sending love ~ through flowers, birds singing, the kind touch of a hand, a smile from a dear friend~ letting me know that I am loved. 

After significant loss, a step in living again is sharing again. This means being brave with new people. Inviting in the possibility of a new connection. A new beginning. With God’s grace. It means being vulnerable again.

It’s happening more often these days… where I get to choose.

To hide. To stay afraid, cautious, or… to share and be vulnerable.

This is not easy. And it’s essential.

I am worthy of respect and I am allowing my self heart-opening moments of sharing and receiving new love.

Accepting warmth, kindness, laughter, even joy.

To believe one’s self worthy of respect. To believe one’s self worthy of happiness. 

Yes, it is possible. 

It is here. The bird sings. The sun rises. It is a new day dawning. 

Wherever you are in your journey today, I encourage you to invite in grace and hope. Both bring light and encourage sharing what is in our hearts ~ our wounds, our loves, our dreams.

For me it starts with a prayer, which is also a song.

And I am grateful to remember that somewhere a bird sings in the morning even when the sky is still dark.

May Peace be with you.

~Kathleen

Listen to MissyAnn’s song “Silly ‘n Sappy” on Youtube.

Listen to MissyAnn’s song “Silly ‘n Sappy” on Youtube.