Begging them, "Love me please..."

Hello. The day after Thanksgiving. Some meals leave me full. Some leave me still hungry. And some meals leave me both… a full belly with a heart that longs for love. Or a full belly and a full heart. It depends on what I focus on. 

I have a long history of wanting people to love me who don’t and taking for granted those who do. I’m working on changing this pattern. 

Instead of focusing on the cold shoulder, the sharp speech, the unmet need… can I savor, revisit and remember the kind word, the tender look, a compliment, an expression of gratitude?

I’m working on changing my focus. Can I see the Good? I don’t mean ignoring hurtful behavior. Attending to myself when a wound occurs and also noticing where grace and beauty stepped in as solace. Inviting in beauty and truth into the balance of my focus and my breath. Can I breathe and be with myself wherever I am and share it in prayer?

This is where I am hurt. This is where I am thankful.

Maybe I was born extra needy. Or maybe I was born human with a need for love and sought to meet this need only through humans instead of focusing more on my relationship and love with the Divine. 

Thankfully, the more this sacred relationship grows, the more I see variety in how the Divine showers love on me all the time! The beauty in nature. In my cat. In flowers on the table. In food in my fridge. In clean water to drink. In the person seated beside me. In me.

Today I can take time to make the left-overs taste divine.

Releasing where I’m begging someone to love me. Accepting where they’re at. 

And recalling beautiful moments. Joyful. Abundant. Peaceful. Surprising. Feeling full. Feeling blessed. 

May Peace be with you.

~Kat